kansass:

Eyebrows so strong they bench press 350

(via obamafart)

fatkidinmath:

is drake bell related to taco bell (??)

(via fake-mermaid)

cyanblur:

i remember one time the simpsons made a joke about fox news and they got so insulted they tried to sue them but the court was like “this aired on ur network u can’t sue urself”

(via obamafart)

bombing:

attention passengers this is your pilot speaking, we’re going to be experiencing some heavy turbulence shortly so please strap in. this loser just bet that i couldn’t do a 360 barrel roll in this thing and let’s just say i’m about to be $20 richer real soon

(via your-grandmas-a-hooker)

Chemistry more like cheMYSTERY because i have no idea what’s going on

(via fetch-is-never-gonna-happen)

croutoncat:

people who randomly decide to compliment you are so important

(via obamafart)

spoopykatee:

my mom just said “watch this” then ran a red light and said “i just don’t care”

(via fetch-is-never-gonna-happen)